The guitar I dreamed I had. And it could be mine for a mere $3500

I’m gonna take a few minutes out of your life, that you’ll never get back, right now, to talk about a dream I had last night. It was one of the oddest things I’ve ever dreamed, and I made sure to make a point out of writing it down before I forgot it this morning when I woke up. I was at a baseball game, sitting in the bleachers, and for whatever reason, it turned out to be the game that Barry Bonds would hit his 800th home run (a feat he will likely never accomplish as his days in baseball appear to be over) Anyway, the guy next to me catches the ball, and I think to myself, I can run up to the concession stand, buy a ball, and say that the one I bought, was in fact the 800th home run ball and sell it. So I buy the ball, and I stand outside the stadium, and sell the ball in under 30 seconds to a guy dressed in a suit and tie carrying a briefcase with exactly 500,000 dollars cash in it. So at this point I figure I need to spend the money before they find out that it wasn’t actually the home run ball. So for whatever reason, I go to Guitar Center and buy everything I can find immediately, and still have eight dollars left. So I get eight candy bars, and eat them on the way home. Somehow all of the guitars and amps fit into my ’95 Subaru Legacy, and I get them home, and I immediately run up to my bedroom and throw all of it under my bed, where it magically fits. A minute later I hear a bunch of knocking on my door, and it’s everyone who was at the game, all like 50,000 people, and somehow they can’t break the door down to my room, so I figure I have to make them go away. So I stack up a stack of Marshall amps against my door, and plug in a cherry red Gibson ES-335 (I dunno why I’d have picked a semi-hollow) and start rocking out, and it’s so loud that everyone behind the door starts to stop pounding at the door and leave, and that’s when I woke up. And now that I think about it, I’ve come to several conclusions:
1. I bet someone’s tried that before–the home run ball thing, and who knows? Maybe it’s worked.
2. I wish I had a half a million dollars to just buy all that shit
3. A Gibson ES-335 would be a sick guitar to own.

Unfortunately, none of these things were real, but because it’s probably the most vivid dream I’ve had in a very long time, and it’s quite bizarre, and most importantly, because I felt as though I probably didn’t have a whole lot of comedic light to shed on anything today, thought I’d share.

Also, a quick update on LCS. I’m told that it’s not just an ‘interest meeting’ taking place on Tuesday the 7th, but it’s actually audition day. So looks like it’s time to start writing for that pup, I need 5 minutes.

That’s all for now
-CS

Before we do that, however, we need to talk about the Open Reel Film Fest at Fitchburg State College. Why? Because I co-wrote the winning film, that’s why. This will soon be up on YouTube, and I’ll be posting it up here. The film is called “All Alone,” and it’s based on a hypothetical in which Harry and Marv from the popular Home Alone series encounter Kevin McAllister later in life. And I’ll leave it at that. Anyway, film won audience choice for best film in the festival, and in addition to writing it, I make an appearance as the Wet Bandit himself, Marv. So once my friend Justin puts the video up, it’ll be available here for your viewing pleasure.

Richard Jeni is one of my alltime favorite comedians, and as it were, one of the first comedians I followed as a kid. He became famous doing the late night circuit, and coincidentally, was the first comedian I ever saw on The Tonight Show.  A fact I recently found out about was that Jeni appeared on the Tonight Show more than any other comedian in the show’s history.

Every once in a while, my dad would let me stay up late and watch Letterman with him, and it was my first exposure to his comedy. I very much enjoyed it, and was drawn to his other work. He did an HBO special in 1992 entitled Platypus Man, and would go on to make several more HBO appearances, most recently appearing in his special entitled “Richard Jeni: A Big, Steaming Pile of Me.” Many people are also familiar with his acting work, most priminently in the Jim Carrey film The Mask. Sadly, Jeni passed away in 2007 at the age of 49, from an apparent suicide. A great comedian, one of my favorites. He will be missed.

Comedy Central’s 2004 list of their greatest stand up comedians ever ranked Jeni at number fifty-seven. Tad on the underrated side, I’d say.

Oh, and that guy who commented in the first post, is my friend from home, Mr. Mike Gheorghe. I’ve hired him to threaten to destroy everything important to me every time I don’t update this thing. I really don’t want my thumbs broken, so perhaps that’ll provide even an inkling of motivation.

Oh, and let me just put this out there, a thought that’s become a part of me since January: Fuck 9:30 classes. They are another of the many tools of satan.

Later,

-CS

Now looking very much like the illigitimate child of Otto the bus driver and Howard Stern

In a way, starting a blog is in the same vein as the art itself of comedy. When they say my name and I make my way to the stage, the situation at hand is altogether arbitrary. As the entertainer, facing everyone sitting down, the first thing I have to do is have a reason to have a microphone in my hand, facing in a direction opposite the audience. That’s weird in and of itself. Then, I’ve after I’ve decided for myself that I’ve got a reason to be speaking to everyone, I’ve gotta be funny. And it’s usually all downhill from there.

First, some things about me. I’m from Auburn, Massachusetts. I enjoy long walks on the beach and saying things that make people feel uncomfortable. I’m eighteen years old and I go to Fitchburg State College in Fitchburg, Massachusetts. And why do I have this Weblog? Because I’m shameless and writing things that nobody ever reads is one of my favorite passtimes. In the spirit of being shameless, I figure perhaps I’ll get a few more people to go to my next show (COUGH…NEXT WEEK…COUGH) and, perhaps, to share my thoughts on the absurdity of life, let people know where and when I’m playing, and let people into my brain a bit.

…but who are we kidding? This is probably gonna end up like every other piece of shit in the cyber world…unread and stagnated. But nonetheless, we shall see. I’m gonna try and keep this bad larry updated, I really am.

Still trying to figure out this wordpress software, so bear with me a bit if this looks or reads like crap.

Thanks

-CS